“The most disrespected person in America is the black woman. The most unprotected person in America is the black woman. The most neglected person in America is the black woman. ”
— Malcolm X
This is a brutally honest and powerful quote because all of these notions ring true. We see and experience it every day as Black women in America.
We are undervalued, under-appreciated, underpaid, unprotected, and misunderstood — yet there are unrelenting high standards and expectations for who we should be, how we should carry ourselves, and what we should do for others.
Here are just a few common examples that Black women experience on a regular basis:
- “The Angry Black Woman”: The stereotype that black women are just angry when they become upset about something that has an effect on them. This tells us that we can’t have any emotions other than happiness lest we confirm others’ biases and perceptions of us. This limits our ability to show up authentically and forces us to shut down our true emotions.
- Black Women and Maternal Mortality: The alarming rates in which black women die during childbirth or shortly after due to our concerns not being taken seriously. This tells us that our lives don’t matter as much.
- Black Women and the Pay Gap: The well known statistic that the black woman working full-time makes 63 cents for every dollar paid to white, non-Hispanic men. This tells us that our work ethic and professional attributions will never be good enough compared to our white counterparts.
- Black Women and Natural Hair: The lack of respect for black hairstyles in the workplace as experienced by discouragement of our protective styles and our kinky coils. This tells us that our blackness is an issue.
- “The Ascription of Intelligence” Microagression: The compliments we receive when we articulate our words and speak with eloquence. The surprise that follows tell us that there was an expectation of ignorance to flow from our lips.
- “Be Twice As Good”: Having to work twice as hard as everyone else for most anything that we do. This tells us that being successful in America comes with the hefty price that often feels like too much to pay.
We are constantly made to feel that we are not enough or that we are too much. This leads to us making ourselves small to fit in spaces that were never meant for us. Which in turn leads to depression, anxiety, perfectionism, and low self-esteem, just to name a few. Having to explain ourselves or apologize for the way we naturally show up in the world is exhausting and insulting. It’s as if we have to prove that we are worthy of taking up space every single day. It is a burden we didn’t ask for yet we are expected to carry it. The trauma that comes with being a black woman is an experience that cannot truly be explained or understood unless it is your reality.
It is unfair. It is unjust. And it makes sense that you may begin to question who you are and your importance because of all of the messages that you receive. The very nature of microagressions and gaslighting is designed to make you question your intuition, your wisdom, and your own internal awareness. To the point that it may cause you to doubt yourself.
However, let me be clear: Your experience as a black woman in America is valid. Your feelings are real. You are not “crazy” nor are you imagining things.
The reality is, we were never “meant” to accomplish all the achievements we have made so far. With that being said, because we have overcome leaps and bounds — despite how hard our world makes it to do so — I believe that says much more about who we are as a population. We are:
- Strong
- Beautiful
- Intelligent
- Driven
- Courageous
- Determined
- Worthy
- Caring
- Goal-oriented
- Resilient
- Magical
Even though there are still numerous changes that need to be made in our world and we have to fight injustices every day, it doesn’t take away from all we’ve achieved so far. We are living our ancestors’ wildest dreams! Do not let this world and its false realities dull your shine or harden you. Live as big and as freely as you wish. Imagine the liberty that could come from freeing ourselves from the shackles of being told how we should be to appease others. Our value and worth are not dictated by the society that surrounds us and is chock-full of falsehoods and a lack of appreciation for our uniqueness.
We also know that this is easier said than done and you need a team to support you in living out your wildest dreams.
We can help you stop playing small and show up fully in all the spaces you enter or create.
You don’t have to carry all these big and draining experiences by yourself.
We can help you lighten your load.
At The Worth, Wisdom, and Wellness Center, we specialize in the black woman experience. We too are black women, living in the same world and receiving the same messages as you. That shared experience works to deepen our understanding and strengthen our connection in the therapeutic relationship. Allow us to support you in exploring, unpacking, and combating the oppressive messaging related to being a black woman in America. We offer a safe, non-judgmental space for healing using empathy and validation. We can be strong on our own, but we can be stronger when we work together and support one another.
The Worth, Wisdom and Wellness Center provides Trauma & EMDR therapy, Therapy for Perfectionism and Low Self-esteem, Therapy for Anxiety and Depression, and Faith-Based Therapy to Black women and Women of Color. Even when the world tells you, you don’t matter, know that you can come into this space where everything about you matters. Your trials and tribulations, as well as your success and your triumphs. Your brains and your emotions. It is all important here.
If you are located in the state of Georgia* and interested in starting your healing journey, you can follow any of the steps below.
1. Contact us to schedule your first appointment and learn more about our services.
2. Review our Meet Us pages to learn more about our trauma trained providers.
3. Review our FAQs page to learn more about therapy at our center.
We look forward to being a part of your healing journey.
*Dr. Marcuetta Sims also sees clients in other states. Check her bio to learn more.