“The World is Wide Enough”
A phrase that was coined in the broadway play “Hamilton” (which if you haven’t seen, I would really recommend).
If you’ve already seen it, you must remember the not- so – friendly- competition between Aaron Burr and Alexander Hamilton.
If you haven’t seen it- here’s the cliffnotes version (SPOILER ALERT):
Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr are two politicians who grow up in strikingly similar ways- and throughout the Broadway play, Aaron Burr’s jealousy for Hamilton’s success drives him to eventually shooting him in a duel, resulting in Hamilton’s death.
“The World is Wide Enough” was not a concept that was real for Aaron Burr. His perception of Alexander Hamilton as a fellow attorney, politician, and competitor drove him to feeling as though there could only be enough room for one of them.
So much so, that a rivalry that could have ended in a multitude of different ways resulted in only one of them surviving.
This may sound like overkill (no pun intended), but what struck me was thinking about the part of Aaron Burr’s character that nobody liked- his jealousy of Hamilton and his success. That’s what made him the “villain” in the story.
Jealousy: that same part of Aaron Burr that nobody liked doubled as the part of him that made him so relatable.
As much as it may pain some of us to admit, there is a part of Aaron Burr within all
of us.
Competition can be found everywhere these days. With social media, the opportunity to scroll through other people’s accomplishments is literally right at our fingertips.
Oftentimes, we see others our same age, in our same field, competing for the same jobs and opportunities, and the thoughts begin from there.
“How were they able to land that promotion so quickly?”
“Wow, they work for that company? And make 6 figures?”
“I wanted to go that route and didn’t think I could make it, but they did…”
“I wanted to do something like that, but they did it so much better…”
For some of us, the thoughts of jealousy begin to creep in.
The stigma of jealousy works in a sneaky way- we feel shame for being jealous, so we may not even mention it.
However, just because we’re not talking about it doesn’t mean it’s not still festering.
Acknowledging jealousy and the role that it’s playing can be helpful in getting to the root of the matter at hand.
At its root, when you’re feeling jealous, its from a fear that you will be seen as less than.
Jealousy writes the narrative that we are not able to obtain what someone else has, and there’s nothing to be done about it.
We see this several times through Aaron Burr’s life…
Burr’s jealousy is seen every time Hamilton gets ahead or gets an advantage that Burr desires. Burr is excluded from certain opportunities time and time again. As a result, Burr’s disdain for Hamilton continues to grow to the point where Burr makes career choices just to spite Hamilton. Even though these aren’t even things that he truly wants.
Sound familiar?
Jealousy can often lead us to act out of character and do things that we wouldn’t even consider doing if we weren’t acting from a place of jealousy.
Throughout these [and numerous others] series of events, Aaron Burr falls victim to allowing his jealousy to take control of his rational thought process. To the point where Burr takes Hamilton’s life. He may have felt threatened by Hamilton’s success, and felt as though he was not enough, but it didn’t have to end the way it did.
How we feel about situations are not always reality, and our feelings are not always the truth.
In Burr’s case, his feelings about Hamilton’s success did not mean that he was not successful.
In fact, Hamilton quoted Burr as the better lawyer- but often times, when we are too busy looking at the grass that looks greener on the other side, we don’t admire our own.
Jealousy can cause a blurred perception of how others perceive us- and our feelings of insecurity may lead us to believe that someone else’s success can block our own.
As much as that FEELS true, that’s NOT true. Seeing someone else’s success doesn’t mean that you aren’t able to accomplish something.
In fact, it can be used as a motivator to put your projects in motion.
Unfortunately, jealousy can have a symbiotic relationship with insecurity, and the feelings turn into questions about ourselves and our own abilities.
While most of us are not going to go to the extreme that Burr did in his state of jealousy, there are things that can “die.”
Our hopes, dreams, ambitions, self-esteem.
We begin to question if we should even go after that goal, or begin the project. Or we may push off the goals and dreams that were God-given to play it small and “give ourselves more time”.
“Maybe I haven’t gotten there yet.”
“Maybe I need more experience.”
“Maybe this just isn’t for me at all.”
Of course, I’m not knocking the value of being experienced and knowledgeable in your field.
However, is there a possibility this thought process is a pattern?
Is there any chance that every encounter with an idea that’s similar to yours causes doubts within yourself that results in spiraling thoughts?
It’s as if there is an underlying theme of not being enough.
Those thought processes are all stemming from the core belief that what you have to bring to the table will never be as good as someone else.
The core belief of not feeling as valuable as others around you.
That belief drives you into wanting to put yourself in overdrive and then when you finally get the idea and want to put it into action, you see another post and have another uncomfortable run-in with your insecurity.
It can turn into a cycle, and before you know it, 1 year has passed and you haven’t put anything into motion. The jealousy- insecurity pattern has struck again.
Additionally, the mindset of feeling as though there’s not enough profit out there for everyone can be just as much of a hurdle to our dreams.
We think that because there’s already someone selling merchandise similar to ours, then that’s just not a feasible option.
We believe that since we already know people thriving in a niche, that there’s absolutely no room for us there.
That’s farthest from the truth. If that were true, there would only be one of everything.
There would be no variety in clothing stores.
There would not be any opportunity to enjoy a plethora of food options when you visit somewhere new, if “everyone wanted the same thing.”
The beauty of creating something yourself is that you are bringing yourself to the table- and there isn’t anyone else that can do that but you.
Nobody else has your experience. Nobody else will be able to speak to something or create something that is going to be exactly like yours.
Meaning, there will be people who resonate with your creation. With your message. How you put your ideas together.
Insecurity positions itself as the biggest hurdle between where we are and the goals that we want to accomplish.
Insecurity stops us from pursuing our dreams.
If you’re wondering what to do when insecurity and jealousy limit you from pursuing your dreams, here are some steps I recommend taking when you notice yourself feeling some-type-of-way about others’ accomplishments:
Acknowledge: First and foremost, acknowledging what you feel in a non-judgmental way will help you actually face the feeling- not run from it.
Be curious: Journal about the following questions: Why might you believe that you are not capable of accomplishing something similar? What lies or narratives are you telling yourself?
Challenge your belief: Jot down this negative belief about yourself- and then write down a reason why the OPPOSITE is true. Don’t think you’re capable of doing something this big? Write down the LAST time you did something big to remind yourself.
Reflect/ Prepare: The decision to do or not to do is up to you- but this way, you’re making it from a place of rational judgment rather than allowing your emotions to fuel your decision. Think about your next step and how you want to proceed.
If any of this is resonating with you- know you’re not alone.
If you’re tired of having to fight through the thoughts of jealousy and feeling as though “I’m not good enough” I would be happy to support you in that process. The journey to healing can start now!
We are here to help our clients navigate their trauma, so they can show up in the world as their most authentic forms of themselves. The Worth, Wisdom and Wellness Center provides Trauma & EMDR therapy, Therapy for Perfectionism and Low Self-esteem, Therapy for Anxiety and Depression, and Faith-Based Therapy to Black women and Women of Color. Let us help you start or even continue your healing process.
If you are located in the state of Georgia and interested in starting your healing journey, you can follow any of the steps below.
- Contact us to schedule your first appointment and learn more about our services.
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